Friday, April 04, 2008

Boyfriends, Marriage and our first Punch

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. It landed on the wrong kid at the wrong time. But it landed. Zack got clocked and was down.
As the first parent to arrive, post-scream, it was somewhat of a bizarre scene. One boy standing. One boy down, with hand over eye, crying, and a third child under the covers of the bed, hiding. It didn’t take long to figure out the guilty party, from the victim, from the witness. We knew Havana could dance like a butterfly. We’d hoped she’d be able to sting like a bee. But why Zack?
I had coached Havana from a young age: "if a boy hits you, you hit them back. It doesn’t matter what the teacher tells you." We want H to be confident around men and not to flinch at male power as it eventually invades her world. So, if life proceeded in a straight, predictable, line, then the boy who should have got clocked is the boy that clocked her first.
During the post-punch investigations it became evident that the the punch was neither an accident, nor particularly justified. It was Havana's first boy-punch and I was asking her to say sorry to Zack. This isn't how I'd planned it.
Zac and Tristan were over at the house playing with Havana. In previous weeks Havana had floated the idea of marriage to Tristan. Initially the slight-framed blonde almost 4-year old, had confused Havana's overtures with woman-loyalty issues. Havana told me that Tristan had decided he was going to marry his mother, implying that no other female was going to step between him and his mom. After a while he lowered his guard and on occasion agreed to marry Havana. Unfortunately in the meantime Havana had received a commitment from Xavier and Tristan was reduced to the category of boyfriend.
On the day of the punch, Havana, in a very relaxed mood in the comfort of her own home had been yelling to Tristan, "hey boyfriend." While cute on the surface, this also represented her tug-of-friend war with Zac. Zac is really into to sports. Havana isn't. When Havana plays over at Zac's house she'll often end up just picking through his books while Zac races outside on his wheels. Today, Zac and Havana were in a tug over Tristan's attention which ended in violence.
Tristan and Zac were wrestling in the spare room. As I imagined it, Havana tapped Zac on the shoulder and clocked him. He went down. Tristan stood stunned and Havana hid amid the bedcovers.
Zac is a sweet kid, didn't deserve to be hit and it pained me to explain it all to Zac's mom. However, it was nice to know that Havana can punch and can punch a boy when necessary. If she can cleanup her selection process all will be well.
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Thursday, April 03, 2008

Love, Love, Love

Our routine on weekends begin with Ilyana waking up, calling out and being carried with her blanket under arm into bed with the big primates. She may or may not fall asleep and gift her parents with an extra hour of shut eye. Then Havana will call out and/or trape into our room, also with obligatory blanket.
Today was special. It was the day that Ilyana (20mos.) woke up and noticed Havana looking at her. She then gazed back, stretched, smiled and spoke the words we all like to hear, this time directly to her sistie (as Havana is known). "I love you"
NOTE: the essence of any story is not in the detail. However, it should be disclosed that Ilyana's exact words were "I luh you" and "I luh you Hava."

Cousin Tuesday, boyf'd Tom, Havana and Ilyana