Havana recently got a cold, which may be connected to her last bout of teething, which has given her a rhaspy vocal tone. This has only added an edge to her new fixation with whispering. Now she's whispering with her hoarse voice, communication has taken a few short steps backwards.
Whispering is normally associated with secrets and not with notions such as, "I want my crayons out" or "can I play with my clay." These passtimes are hardly clandestine in our house.
The whispering coincidentally became the fashion some days after the newborn moved in. When there is a diaper to be changed or lactation to be done, someone wanted something else at that same moment. The struggle over parental attention was a war that needed to be fought and won in Havana's eyes.
Timing is important in such a struggle. Almost 6 months after Havana has been potty-trained, she now began to hide in a corner while her mom was totally pre-occupied with breast feeding Ilyana. Then she we would walk in the room bow-legged, with a lump hanging down from her pant seat. This worked. Now, while I'm at work, Karen has been known to jump up with baby secured to the nipple and chase down the dirty bomber. And all three have to make it into the bathroom before a major cleanup is required.
The war to win back full parental attention in one mind, still needed to be fought. Yelling hadn't worked. Ignoring her parents was not going to work and would also defeat the object. So, the whispering had begun. And low and beyold, one parent would stop what they would be doing and ask the other parent, "what did she say?" And it went on, "Hey, Havana what did you say?" She would reduce the decibells and increase the body language, which lured her prey in even closer. The cold and aquired hoarse voice was an asset in this fight.
Finally we cottoned on. We could've begun whispering, as parents, in retaliation. But we're not the children in this relationship. So we didn't. Well, Karen thought it was an immature response if the truth were known.
We still stoop down and ask her to repeat herself as a small concession to a small person confronted with a big change in her world.
