Havana found her self in a photo in the San Francisco Chronicle this week. With family and a large throng of Oaklanders, she’d protested the possible closure of the girls’ elementary school at the School Board. Her mom was even on TV.This week also, the Super Srikers lost 2-0 against the Angry Birds in U10 girls’ soccer. Additionally we went to our first drive-in movie, Friday night. And this is how Havana crammed her last days as a 7-year old.
On Sunday we hosted our smallest ever birthday party.
This was Havana’s response to her parents 80+ peopled birthday parties, with huge homemade piñatas and puppet shows and games and microphones and magic. We had more friends and kids backstage working the puppet show at the last party we hosted than attended Sunday’s party. This was Havana’s choice: an intimate party of close friends.
Her parents were not happy with hosting a small party. Every call we got over the weekend we had to explain, “Oh yeah Havana decided on a small party this year.” We kept the curtains closed and the 9 kids inside or in the backyard. Our previous policy was far simpler.
We always have a huge home-made piñata precipiced off the front of the house: we’ve had pigs, fish, rats, hedgehogs, even the Children Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Our largest was a 6-foot long pink pig that almost pulled up the house off its foundations. There's no hiding this kind of party, hence all kids in the neighborhood were welcomed.
Our home-made puppet shows started a couple of years ago and added a new dimension to the parties. We also added a PA system more recently because of the size of crowds. Things were bigger, more complex, crazier and the kids loved it.
But Havana said, No. She wanted a quiet day of playing board games. Mmmmm. “Well, that’s not exactly what kids expect at a party. Do you want a cake?” “Yes.” “Do you want games?” “Yes.” “A puppet show?” “Yes,” Havana replied emphatically. Havana had voiced the key character in the last puppet show and was extremely excited before, during and after the performance.
“It’s a lot of work to put together a puppet show, girl, and we can’t pull in all our friends if they’re not invited to the party.”
This whole thing’s been coming a while. Last year Havana rebelled by demanding a store-bought piñata. So we compromised with one store-bought Mexican giraffe and one home-made large grey rat. At the last moment Havana decided she’d grown too attached to her giraffe and so it won a stay of execution. And today, the large yellow paper-tattered giraffe is up in the attic and the head of the rat, which miraculously survived the beating its body took, has been mounted on a piece of pinewood and is up in our front room.
For about 3 years the girls’ cakes have been made by our roomie Laura whose skills have increasingly excelled. Ilyana’s last party, a hedgehog-themed event had both little spikey hedgehog cupcakes and a massive spiked one.
For her 8th birthday Havana wanted a witch-based party. Despite the intimacy of the numbers, our other roomie Arya organized a guess-the-witch treasure hunt in and around the pink playhouse. We had pass the black cat and pass the witches hat. We had a spell-driven game of animal charades, and everyone made and decorated a witch’s hat for themselves. Our buddy, the mad scientist, Pierre, brought dry ice for the cauldron, and we ate severed finger hot dogs.
At the end of the Witch party, Karen and I sat, exhausted on the sofa, reflecting. Havana was happy. Ily too. And the kids had a good time. And our clean-up was a pushover.
We showered the girls. Havana painted her entire face green sometime after the sun came up. As the day wore on her various additional makeups merged and faded. By 6pm she looked like a zombie and maybe felt like one too.
However, our parental gem for the day was long in the past. This was Havana jumping into bed with us 12 hours earlier, snuggling inbetween the two of us, and loudly whispering, "I just wanted to let you guys know that I appreciate every little thing you've done for me since I was a baby."
Through thick and thin, our daughters could not have made us any happier.
. . . . . . . The giraffe doubled as a reindeer that Christmas.
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