body functions and the climb out of shallow waters

As a fourty four year old I frequently discover new body misfunctions. Something doesn't work the way it used to. Something does something you wouldn't expect it to do. I'm not on my cellphone sharing the celebration of any of these new discoveries. When you're two its different. Except without the cellphone.
Last night on the way out to eat Eritrean food with a friend in the back with our permanent rear-seated passenger, she shared. 3 times. It probably felt pleasurable, as it can when it's not repressed by awkward social etiquette. She also knew it was funny. Two year old funny. Body function funny, but notable. Here on in begins the long climb towards a mature sense of humor and depth. From this shallow recognition of farting begins the long, slow, drawn out, primitive accumulation of humourous material. Now and then she will take a big leap forward towards less shallow jests, but they will be small leaps. And one day we will turn around and she will make a joke that we will laugh at as equals. Perhaps an insight into the complexity and contradictions of life, perhaps something emotionally messy, but she will make it and the "I'm farting" exclamations will fade into a distant memory of more simple world with simpler pleasures.

The little voice and the worm

Another little development is her ‘make my day’ voice. Sometimes I’ll ask her to repeat herself or ask her to
say something louder. She doesn’t do “louder” on command. We know she does louder, but not on command. So instead when I ask for louder, she’s started doing this deeper voice thing instead. She will do it for emphasis too. She goes down an octave that isn’t in concert with her size or age. I get drawn into copying her and then we’re both at it. I think that she thinks that this is her powerful voice. But she’s probably not going to test it outside of the safe place of her home for the near future.
Finally, we have another little sod on the way. 14-weeks today. We refer to it as the “worm.” Havana’s all about kissing the worm in mommy’s belly. She’s very happy that she’s going to be a big sister.

Learning the Scottish Kiss

There have been injuries also this week. I have a browned eye. I never really noticed that children’s craniums are so much larger in proportion to their bodies than adults’ heads. Now, we all like a cuddle.
On the sofa, on the floor, on the bed. But some small people’s body mechanics are less fine tuned than our own. We’ve started to call it “the wrecking ball.”
When you’re in close proximity to it, it can come at you from nowhere. Like all small ones, she is always and forever bumping that little head of hers. We have not helped the process. We try and play down adversity. And naturally it backfired. She thinks nothing of accidentically whacking us with the back of her skull.
During the early 1980s in Britain, I remember the head butt had a big comeback in pub fighting. It was affectionately known as the “Glaswegian (or Scottish) Kiss.” Of course in Glasgow they probably called it something else. I witnessed this harsh fighting method used in many brawls and was once the victim of it. We all wish our children could benefit from our own mistakes. Havana is, I feel, on a clumbsy and unconcious road to developing her Scottish kiss.

Resistance or Curiosity

She woke us in the middle of the night last night. It was a single cry. She had cried out, “Why?” We’d hoped
we weren’t rearing an existentialist. Although she did only cry it out once and then effortlessly fell back into slumber.
Like all of our little species we process stuff at night. Havana hit the ‘why’ stage some time back. It’s not a word that is simply used to express innocent childhood curiosity. It’s also an abbreviation of “why the hell should I do something just because you tell me and just because you’re my parents.” The abbreviated version saves energy, allowing for greater frequency of use. Karen and I, in response, have not yet reduced ourselves to her level by blocking her with the parental monosyllabic expedient, “because.” Possibly, a more worn out, drained, future version of ourselves will succumb to this.

some will say you brought it on yaselves

When her mom asked her to put her shoes on, two-year
old Havana kneeled down, resting on her feet, uttered
the 3 words every parent fears. “I’m on strike!”
Naturally, this was not her first strike. She had been
on strike on many occasions before. It mostly involved
food preference issues or an unwillingness to
cooperate with an innevitable diaper changing. But
this was her first articulation of her method.
In some ways it was a senseless strike that was going
to hurt her own cause. Her parents were not going to
take her to the revered “park” without her shoes on.
The strike collapsed within less than a minute.
However a new tradition had been established and there
was no going back.
Where did the words come from? It’s hard to say.
Perhaps we as parents had brought it on ourselves. We
had, after all, on occasion accused our two-year old
of being “on strike”. But it was never said as an
encouragement. We think it came from a library book we
took out, “Click, Clack, Moo” where the cows go on
strike against Farmer Brown. Public libraries!
It’s behavior like this that cause parents to dread
their child learning to read and write by themselves.

politenesses and social integration

In the last few weeks Havana has been increasingly engaging in politenesses. for a couple of weeks everytime we tried to get her to say "thankyou" by coaxing her with the word "thankyou" she kept saying "your welcome". then she got it. Now its "thank you daddy" for this, "thank you mommy" for that. Its a bit sickening, well, you know nice.
Karen as Havana's primary care giver has helped Havana become this fairly secure little human being, to which I am ever grateful.
So yesterday we had a surreal experience. We're out having breakfast. Karen on one side of the table, Havana high-chaired in the middle and me on the other side. Lil' H motions to karen with one arm, Karen leans in, Havana puts her arm over Karens shoulder and then does the same for me. Then she says, "I love you
big guys!"
It was pretty stunning. Anyway, it was probably the best moment of my life in just a short second. Now I'm getting sickening